Do you want to explode?

Has anyone out there in Blog-land seen Despicable Me? 

I love that movie. 

There is a scene where Dr. Nefario (Played by Russell Brand) is asked by one of the children if they can play with a ray-gun. Instead of answering 'NO', he asks, "Do you want to explode?". 

Every time I think of a potential scenario I have with Molly, I find myself asking, "Do I want to explode?". 

I'm not going to explode. I already did that and it resulted in prune-stained walls. It was a sticky mess to clean up and I won't do it again. 

This week, I am expecting company. 

For any new mom, this is seen as stressful. Not only is my house in shambles because I haven't cleaned it in the last nine months, but I am going to have more bodies in the house. 

As I'm sure you can tell, this causes me anxiety. I haven't been one to freak out under pressure but this set me over the edge and yes, I thought I was going to explode. 

As mentioned in my previous post, I have a hard time working out logistics now that my brain is the new home to a depressive parasite. The news of my company's arrival and plans for the weekend didn't excite me, it made my heart-rate spike, my palms sweat, and my poor husband stroke my hair while I talked to myself like a crazy-person. 

My mother always said that in this type of situation, I need to just focus on one thing at a time. Well, yesterday I did that. My amazing sister, Wendy, came over and we tidied the basement. Molly was asleep but probably not for the moment where I shrieked the house down when I found a dead mouse in the dehumidifier. 

*Editor's note- I'm terrified of DEAD mice. Don't know why. I know they aren't going to lunge at me or do anything for that matter (except carry the bubonic plague). I'm still terrified. Ick!

We scrubbed the bathroom and made the basement look really really cozy. Wendy is a lifesaver and she's coming over before my company comes on Friday, so we can scrub the evidence of my cat's nasty ways off the floor. 

In the past, I would have NEVER been so anxious about having company. Of course I would have wanted to make the house clean and fresh but I wouldn't have freaked out like I did. 

The good news is that as I tackle one thing at a time, I really do feel better. Also, knowing that I have the support of my sister and friends is really wonderful. They know that I ask myself if I want to explode and they don't want to come over to a baby-food splattered house (unless Molly is doing her best replications of Jackson Pollack). 

One final thought: As I reread this post, I've noticed a huge change in my tone in just one day. I know that everyday is going to be different, but I'm hoping that through the exercise of blogging, I can continue on an upswing and begin to feel better consistently.