There was the epic Bruce Springsteen concert and Zach's awesome 30th birthday party. Also, our babies were amazing all weekend long.
(*Note: Carly- I passed on lots of love to Libby, Nathan, and their tiny human for you*).
Even though there was a lot of anxiety about the weekend, it turned out to be a riot and none of the worst-case-scenarios actually came into fruition. Now that the weekend is over, and the house has recovered, I've begun to reflect on the exact trigger that set me off.
I know I'm feeling blue. That is a constant; but at this juncture, I don't feel anxious or unpleasant about HAVING to do or prepare anything. Anticipating a major event with lots of tiny details that I have to facilitate is that exact trigger.
So I ask, "When have I been asked to do too much?"
The answer is simple; when I accept too much.
In reality, I can do only as much as I want to. If I don't want to host another family in my tiny Toronto shack, I don't have to. Then it becomes a question of, "How badly do I want to see my friend?" and "To what lengths will I go to be able to have my friend stay here?".
There are levels of accepting responsibility everyone has when they have guest. I'm honestly an 'all or nothing' kind of babe. Libby, Nathan, and Bryce were going to have a wonderful time here at 'Hotel Crandall'.
As I've mentioned before, I love fun. Remember from my last blog; I jump out of planes, off cliffs, and I dive with sharks. That is fun. Being home in a monotonous routine with a teething baby and a nasty case of the blues is not fun. (Well, I definitely don't get my jollies from it. Others do, and that's cool).
So, in the case of having Libby and Co. stay here, I went all out. My parents (thankfully) babysat both nights and both babies; my sister and I cleaned the basement and did mountains of laundry; and Alex and I bought and cooked lots of yummy food for our guests. Without the support, I wouldn't have been able to do any of this. I'm so thankful.
But, I was still feeling anxious.
Did I bite off more than I could chew? Sure did!
When you have major oral surgery, its hard to chew anything. You can chew, it just hurts and takes a little more effort. That sums up my anxiety over the weekend preparations. I can do everything, and I'll be damned if I don't, but it hurts and takes a lot of energy I don't currently possess.
Along with hosting Libby and Co., I made a five layer rainbow 'The Watchmen' cake for Zach's birthday. It was gluten free, dairy free, and Kosher (yup, I made kosher fondant with parve kosher gelatine). It was a lot of work. It was even more work with everything going on over the weekend. I still managed to do that, get the house ready, go to the pool, have a nap, go to the Springsteen concert, walk to the beach, hit up David's Tea, and cook and clean. And, of course, Molly-duty was an around the clock necessity.
I am super woman. I am even more super because I did all of this while feeling super anxious and blue.
I'm not writing this to toot my own horn, even though I'm really F*cking great at it; I wrote this to help me sort out when I've taken on too much. I think I've found the answer to that.
This upcoming weekend is Labour Day weekend. School starts on Tuesday and so there are three glorious days of weekend left to celebrate summer.
I asked Alex if he wanted to go to the cottage. He said, "YA! I would love to spend the weekend with my family!".
I said, "Okay, are you willing to do ALL the laundry; ALL the shopping; ALL the packing; ALL the past weekend clean up, and looking after Molly?"
He said, "I will do half of it."<-- I know! I'm the only lunatic that accepts to do ALL this mishegas (BY MYSELF!)
I said, "No. ALL or NOTHING"<--Limit hit!
So, are we going to the cottage?
no.
After not sleeping for a week because I was so anxious and miserable, I have learned that I am not super woman nor do I want to be. I love going to the cottage but this weekend, I've put in my labour and I'm going to strive for some relaxation.
I can be super for one weekend, but like all humans, I've hit my limit. Two weekends of insane packing, shopping, laundry, and baby is a death wish.
Enjoy Labour Day! I enjoyed many days of labour leading up to this weekend and I will do my best to put all labour on hold until another weekend. :)
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